why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms. knock knock. who's there? well, its not suzie.

What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

If a plane crashes on the border of America and Canada, where do you bury the survivors? Somewhere discreet where no one will find them

whats worse than dying alone? dying with a boner.

Roses are red, Violets are red, I'm bleeding, Shit.

Get in the car.

What is invisible and smells like carrots? The smell of Carrots. Pretty sure you can't see smells.

How many Muslims does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

Every sixty seconds in Africa... a minute passes - plz like to save Africa!

How many licks did it take for the little boy to get to the center of the Tootsie Pop? Three, and then he choked and died.

What did the kid with cancer gt for Christmas? Nothing. He didn't make it that long

How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, you racist.

Michael Castillo is gay

A Black man and a racist walk into a bar. There was a ruckus.

WHat did Helen Keller get for Christmas? an ipod

What happened to the Californian who drove off into the sunset. He died. You can't drive in the ocean.

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son of a B**ch.

What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? 2 weeks to live...

I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!!! LOUD NOISES!!!

What did the pedofile say to the little girl? Nothing. She was properly supervised by her parents.

What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? Nothing. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said objects are, are in no way capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

Libyans stage a protest. They get massacred.

Women.

A hispanic lesbian couple accidentally walk into a country western themed bar. And leave immediately as a bar is no place for their 2 year old son.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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