What animal has four legs and one hand? Happy rottweiler

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Their, they're, there You're, your

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fava beans

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It's April Fool's Day and a little boy runs up to his mom. "Daddy hung himself! He's in the attic!" The mom runs up to the attic, but the dad's not there. The boy looks at his mom and says, "April fools! He's in the basement!"

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I share two rooms with my mother.

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A Mexican, an Asian, a black guy, a white guy, a Jew, and a hispanic............... i forgot.

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why wouldnt sally stop spinning? she was trapped in a washing machine

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Why do basketball players wear bibs? They don't.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? His mother threw a fridge at him

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What'd the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish, remember?

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What did the hooker say to her employer after 1 hour....you owe my $20

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Your mother is so fat that she once ate an entire peach cobbler in one sitting and chastised herself yet again for her lack of self-control over her eating habits and her need to fill the holes in her self esteem with the short-lived gratification she gains from eating too much of the foods she finds tasty.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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What's it called when Justin Bieber has sex? Sex. The specific person partaking in sexual intercourse does not change the term used to describe it.

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i'm funny

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An Asian fails their maths exam.

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin when he noticed he had lost his belt? A: Robin! Q:What did Robin respond? A: Yes?

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Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because she had no legs. Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. What did Sally get for Christmas? Cancer. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally...

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A straight guy, a straight girl and a bisexual guy walk into a bar. The bisexual guy is twice as likely to find a partner from a purely statistical point of view.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

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Why is Santa fat? Because the apples are red.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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How do you find a date? Look on the calendar!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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