Eight hours? Sigh, leave it to me then! We both know you are a sweetheart behind that thick skull of yours, I mean why would you ask if it bothers me then?

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What's the difference between a duck? One of it's feet are both yellow.

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Cause 7 was a petophile and 6 has four children

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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(Put joke here)

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Penis

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How do u know a black woman is pregnant? When she pulls out a tampon it has no cotton on it.

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What did the blind kid say to his dad Nothing , his dads dead

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Q:If an apple and an orange had a politicial debate, what would it concern? A:Nothing important.

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What is the difference between a dead baby in a blender and a rock? There are many differences. One of them is the fact that I don't masturbate to a rock.

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Why do animals on the side of the road stink? Well they don't, you just think they do when in reality all it is, is there insides rottening From prevous days of exposen of the air now as far as I know all the little baby squrriel Wanted was it get his nuts in the road and it bring back to his starving family counting on him to bring Food to the tree next thing you know a soccer mom's van ran the poor baby squirrel over. Now me knowing this squirrel myself (don't ask me how) he wanted to go out in style you know get ran over by a mustang or a lambo not some bitch ass mini van with sliding doors and a dvd player convinit for the kids to watch spongebob.... man I bet that squrriel was pissed!

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what did the blond do after she turned 18? Reelected Obama.

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What did the Vietnam veteran see on Christmas that changed his life? Nothing, he was blind. He continued to live his life in the same way, begging for drug money and getting bullied by all the other homeless vets.

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you

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Jim and Dave walk into a bar. The bartender says, "what'll it be?" Dave is black.

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my shift key is broken1

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your momma so dumb she put a battery up her but and said i got the power!!!

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Why do Southern guys go to family reunions? To connect with their loved ones, meet any new additions and share old family stories.

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Why are Asians good at math? Because coincidentally many are interested in it and study a lot.

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A zebra dies and goes to animal heaven. All the animals around him are trotting, flying, jumping, each according to its own species, in the kind of bliss that only eternity can bring. But the zebra is not impressed and mopes through heaven's green fields. A giraffe notices his languid stupor and asks, "Why so glum, pal?" The zebra mournfully replies, "All my life I've wondered if I was black with white stripes or white with black stripes." The giraffe, hoping to get the zebra to some answers as quickly as possible, suggests, "Why not go as God?" The zebra, somewhat taken aback by the notion that God might give him an audience, replies, "Oh, I can do that?" The giraffe says, "Sure, I'll show you the way!" The giraffe leads the zebra to a great tabernacle of gold and points the way up a long stairway of diamond. The zebra follows the stairs up to two great ivory doors. But no matter what he tried, the zebra couldn't get the door open. The only animals that could open the door for him would be the primates because of their opposable digits, but the zebra wasn't much of a social animal, so he didn't have any friends. He spent eternity with no answer to his question.

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Get out of the way everybody, a group of elephants are tumbling down the mountain!

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Is your plant made out of Osmium, Molybdenum, Silicon and Sulfur? Because it's going through OsMoSiS. That was just a joke, not a pick up line. Unless I was giving a pick-up line to your plant, which I definitely wasn't...

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What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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