Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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A Jewish man died in a car crash. His family mourned his death throughout the next few years.

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A minor, her mom, her aunt and a marine went out drinking...they had a fun night

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What's the difference between a duck and a belt? One floats in water and I don't remember the rest but you are a whore.

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A YouTube brawl began between two gentlemen in the comment section. They agreed to a final answer and moved on.

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What did your mom say after she went sky diving? Nothing, her parachute didn't open

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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Knock, knock. Knock, knock. Knock, knock. Guess no ones home.

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Your mama's so fat.

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Jersey Shore

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Its a bird...its a plane....it IS a plane

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? The Batmobile only seats one, you'll have to take the bike Boy Wonder.

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Dr Dr I think I have diarrhea You have irritable bowel syndrome, I recommend IBS support

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He was. I am sorry, he knows to much, this is for the well being of everyone, including yourself, he will be going down, the order has been given.

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knock knock whos there open the door and find out

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Why didn't the Orphan finish his lemonade. His legs got chopped off.

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I love results day! for every A* I get 30 pounds! everything else I cut myself.

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The class valedictorian is about to give his speech to the class. He has 6 fingers total, he is missing an ear, his left nostril is burned shut, and he must walk on crutches because of the severe injury to his left knee. How does the extremely cruel Principal of the school introduce him? "Please welcome Gregory Barnes, a brave soul that conquered a battle against death itself an won".

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When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

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I'm a raging homosexual.

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I hate blackniggers

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When life gives you lemons, you realise that life isn't a physical object and therefore you have problems. Have a nice day.

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Why did the man go to sleep at 9:30? Because his mom told him to

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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