What's the difference between gays and straights? Sexual orientation

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Why Was Mary Short? She Had No Legs.

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Why did the fisherman die on a fishing trip? He had a heart attack.

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You read the Terms of Service.

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What happens when someone with ADD tells a joke? I forgot.

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A YouTube brawl began between two gentlemen in the comment section. They agreed to a final answer and moved on.

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Why did the rabbit jump? Because that's what rabbits do.

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since when?

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wheres binladin? at the bottom of the sea wanking over amy winehouse

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So a Dog walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of skotch, the bartender realizes he must be dreaming. At that very moment he realises he is in a lucid dream. Since this is the case he decides to murder his wife who is in bed right next to him as an expiriment. Since its a lucid dream it doesnt matter. Next he goes down to the fridge and pulls out some old pizza. He sits down for about half an hour eating it along with a box of tuis that also magically appeared in his fridge. Then he goes outside steals the neighbours car takes it for a ride to his Sister-In-Laws house who he has always wanted to root. He goes over breaks the window with his hand. The lucid dream feels so real to him because he pains from the glass in his hand and then he goes up stairs finds his sister-in-law sleeping so he hops into bed with her. At the same moment the police arrive because they followed him from his home were they recieved complants they heard him kill his wife. Everything starts to turn into a nightmare, so scared he trys to make himself wake up. However he cannot. This is not a lucid dream. This is reality. Pizza was in his fridge because he had it for dinner the night before, Beer did not magically appear. his wife had bought it when she went gorccery shopping. He killed his wife, then stole his neighbours car and attempted to rape his Sister-in-law. So now he is going to jail. And no lawyer wants to take up the case so this man is doomed. No hope at all of ever being a free man again

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero Because it's impossible

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In Soviet Russia, it is the largest country in the world. A lot of the parts are uninhabitable though.

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Why can't Jimmy walk ever again? Because when he was 12 his father mistook him for a plank of wood a sawed his legs off. We may realise here that this prohibits him from walking.

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I AM SOFA KING WE TOD HEAD - AV

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Q. have you seen stevie wonders last album? A. neither has he.

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What's worse than a crying baby? A dead one...

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why did the grandpa drop his big mak??? Because an army tank hit him

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Person 1-How do you spell pulmonary embolism? Person 2-P-U-L-M-O-N-A-R-Y E-M-B-O-L-I-S-M. Person 1- Thanks. Person 2- Your Welcome.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had places to be

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers who are you?

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i dont like chris

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- Mom, you've got a banana in your ear. - Son I can't hear you I've got a banana in my ear!

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Somewhere in prison- Germany 1940 Janurary, Tuesday, 630PM: "Why doya' think you're so innocent" "It was only a jew!"

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Knock Knock whose there? ach ach who? bless you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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