roses are red, violets are blue, f*** you wh*re

what did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur nothing dinosaurs can't talk

How did the blind man know when to open his parachute when he went skydiving? The leash went slack.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Dementia Pickles

A tightly dressed woman walks up to a man and asks if he wants a good time they go out for dinner and have a lot in common and agree to meet again in the near future

A man adopts an orphan. He waits till the child is a teenager to tell the news. He then commits suicide as to scar the child emotionally for the rest of its life.

A dyslexic woman goes into a saloon and asks for a hair cut. Oh right, she doesn't have hair! Then why the f*** would she enter the saloon? Because she wanted to get her nails done. But she doesn't have nails either, and she doesn't want to drink. She came there because she wanted to hook up with a guy!

Why can't you tell Knock-Knock jokes in a Japanese farmhouse? Because your fist will go through the rice paper.

An Irishman walks out of a bar

there are some things i dont get. Quantum Physics is one of them.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

A young blonde walks into a bar and orders a shot of tequila. After about a few minutes she spots this very ugly man with one leg. The man just so happens to sit right next to her and orders a drink. The man reeks of cockroaches and he looks like a homeless man that hasn't bathed in months. They never talk and the blonde goes home.

whats da difference between a black people and grass. there both black except for the grass.

Why didn't the monkey fall out of the tree when someone threw a refrigerator at it? Because it was already lying on the floor dying of AIDS.

Knock knock. Whose there? Not my house so not my problem. Frankly, I don't give a shit.

Roses are red, Violets are pretty, look at their team, Surrender at 20.

Where do pimps go when they retire? Idaho.

*Knock Knock *Whos there? *ADD *ADD Who? *I forgot but you wana build a fort.

"The hills are alive..." Impossible, hills can never be alive.

What's black and white and red all over? A mime lying in a pool of blood.

What do you call a loser on a game? A Dirty Hacker

Q-- Why did the boy stop playing football? A -- He had to go for his tea

Sophie Cameron is Gay

Wanna hear a funny joke? I can't think of one at the moment...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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