How do you stop clowns from throwing cinderblocks at your car? Hire a hitman.

If your uncle helped you off An horse, would you help your uncle jack off an horse?

Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

What do you call a man who buys flowers, chocolates, and new jewelry for his wife? A kind, considerate husband.

A Black man and a Hispanic man were sitting in the back seat of a car. Who was driving? Their Asian friend who offered to take them to get lunch.

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Your so fat that you have a 75% chance increase of dying from congenital heart failure.

donald................duck for president

Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my penis, so suck it baby.

knock knock. who's there myhairs myhairs who myhairs fallen out

Get in the car.

Why did the Mexican choose the blue marker over the green one? Because he his favorite color was green, and it was Opposite Day.

what do you call a gay guy Ej

How many dead babes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? its not possible because there all dead

How did the girl with no arms fall out the window? I pushed her.

What do you call a man who eats a swordfish at 11 o'clock? Dead by midnight.

Whats funnier than the Holocaust? Nothing.

Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

I want to stick ma dick in a big bowl o puddin'

Your mom's so old she sometimes uses outdated racial slurs loudly in public. It can get pretty embarrassing.

Why was the toddler laying in the middle of the road? Because she was the victim of a hit and run...

Why couldn't Jenna play double dutch? Because she had no friends.

What's the square root of 6739472? Who gives a f***?

what's worse than a kitten scratching your arm? A dead baby scratching your arm...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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