How do you make a Jew cry? You kill all of their friends and family members.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Tom and Phill are eating ice cream Tom challenges Phill to a contest to see who can eat their ice cream in one bite Tom finishes his in two bites Phil in one Then he looks like he got a brain freeze Tom notices and says "You idiot: you got brain freeze!" Phill turns around and says "No, I have a brain tumor."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? Jews are people

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A duck walks into a bar and the bartender says"What do u want?" The ducks replays "EVERY DAY IM SHUFFLING!!!" The bartender slaps the duck in its face and quid his job. The bar has a hard time finding a replacement and his business dies. THE END

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is Jetlag? When your computer is running too many applications in the background while you're trying to play a game of Jetman so it starts lagging.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is worse than Justin Bieber? Well, 1. Deforestation 2. Hurricanes 3. Diabetes 4. Mass Murder ....and probably much more.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

yo mama so fat she has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to end the lives of two male individuals and paralyze the the third male individual from the hip down.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Grab your Taco, you've pulled a dyslexic Mexican

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A duck walked up to a lemonade stand, and he said to the man running the stand "Quack"! because he's a duck... and that's what ducks do.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is worse than 20 babies stapled to trees? 1 baby stapled to 20 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why couldn't the asian man drive? He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's purple and has four wheels? A frog, except for the purple and four wheels part.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the boy throw butter out the window? Because he had uncontrollable muscle spasms.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

you know what they say about men with big feet... damn you got some big feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How you your turn a trashcan into a semi-automatic AK-47? You don't. But ask the irishman who just said "hello" to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What are pirate movies rated ? P.g 13 for violence and coarse language.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what did helen keller say to the nazi? -nothing, helen keller was blind and deaf so she could never aquired the ability to speak

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the podiatrist say to the proctologist? That athletes foot fungus is clearing up nicely.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the audience laugh at Chaz Bono? Because he told a funny joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's more funny than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed like a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops