Quick its the weed hide the cops! ... wait...

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Alex Eggbert

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3 penguins meet each other in penguin #1's backyard for a pool party. The first penguin climbs up the steps of the water slide gets to the top, looks around and then slides down the slide *SPLASH* The second penguin climbs up the steps, looks around then slides down the slide *SPLASH* The third penguin hastily climbs the steps and slides down the slide radio -Soulbroker

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i heard something so funny it made me crap my pants you were a mistake

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why do we have school? 2 learn duh y r u even askin? ur STOOPIDE!

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Whats the most common use of a butt plug after school? In the sport of pole vaultIng, the butt plug is the rubber end of the pole that is designed to withstand the force of being planted in a steel box.

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A blond and a brunette are on the moon. The brunette says to the blond "I'm glad that independent company's are taking the job of American space travel."

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How can you tell if a duck is sleeping? Look at its eyes.

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How long did it take the world's most powerful democracy to elect a black President? Less than a day.

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I had a dream, then i died in it and now i'm dead but who cares, how are you ?

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what is the difference between coke and pepsi? -they are competing soft drinks made by different brands

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What's red, blue, and purple? purple.

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What did the blonde do when her car broke down? Made a Facebook status about then called animal control.

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Why is Steve Jobs dead, but Bill Gates isn't? Because Bill Gates wasn't diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer.

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What did the janitor have for breakfast? Food

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What is the best thing about dating a slut? You can return her at Build-a-Hoe Workshop.

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Yo mama is so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

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What do you call a dog with 4 legs? A dog.

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What's the difference between a whore and a blonde? There is not enough information to answer this question.

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You know what's funny? Lot's of things.

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How do u kill a mocking bird ? Stab it

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Why was the boy stuck? He's under a tree.

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Why wasn't my T.V. on? Because I didn't have a remote.

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What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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