What white and black and red all over? The wife who refused to report that her husband abused her.

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What did the Homosexual say to the Southern American? I'm A Homosexual. What did the Southern American say back? I Respect That.

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If you stretch all your skin out in a line, you will die of blood loss or possible infection

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why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock! who's there? not suzy.

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Q. you know who is so sad A. you for looking up a site for jokes that aren't even good

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Q: what animal didnt get on Noah's ark in pairs? A: worms. they got on in apples.

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If a tree falls, and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? No. While the falling tree surely creates mechanical oscillations in the air, sound is defined as the mechanical oscillations in the air perceived by humans. Therefore, since no humans were around to hear the tree fall, it did not create a sound.

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I had sex with my mother in law

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A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

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why was it funny that the boy got a razor for christmas because he had leukemia

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What happens when Darth Vader farts? Nothing. Darth Vader's butt was burned off on the volcanic planet of Mustafar and he fell into a lava pit. Darth Vader has since started a program called Darth Vader's butt replacement research foundation. Please donate money today. You could be changing a buttless person's life. Thank you very much.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread, and loaves of bread are incapable of understanding the intricacies of fly-by-wire guidance and propulsion systems.

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Q. What do you get when a banana and a person mate? A. The banana suffocates

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Random Guy: "Oh god, why was I born with so much common sense?" God: "You must be mistaken, or else you wouldn't be asking me."

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A boy found a nickel on the street. So he went to the ice cream shop and bought a gumball with the nickel.

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Yo mama so fat, that when she wore a blue swimsuit to the beach and swam, the Blue Whales started sing, "WE ARE FAAMILY...EVEN THOUGH UR BUGGER THAN ME!!!"

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Why was the squirrel late for work? Because the traffic was nuts!

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Student: May i go to the toilet? Teacher: What for? Student: To open the chamber of secrets!

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Why is the little boy so smart? He tries in school and hes asian

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Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? People cross roads all the time, each for their own personal reasons. Questioning their motives is generally accepted as being unnecessary, as it is a relatively safe action as log as one is careful and heeds the laws of traffic.

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whats white, blue, and red all over? a white guy in the ghetto

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Why didn't the blind girl say hi to anyone? Because she was blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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