how do you kill a little girl? seeing as murder is a federal offence i will not tell you how. you should be ashamed for asking.

elliot forsythe is a paedo

What do you call a man named Jimmy? Jimmy

Whats the difference between a black guy and a white guy They both have different skin color

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&Ms factory? Because she slapped the boss when he made a pass at her. Afterwhich she reported the incident to her Union and the boss was fired for Sexual Harassment. She was then rehired with a substantial increase in salary.

Why did Johnny fall down? Because I threw tropical fruit at him.

shammmm is a lesbian.

ring ring young man: dad? mom's dead? woman: i think you dialed the wrong number young man: .......oh im sorry, you're absolutely right, silly me! woman: don't worry about it. young man: (chuckles) click

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

Why wasn't the drunk driver arrested when he killed a man? Because he died as well.

what makes the world go round? An axis (just jokin, its COFFEE)

what's the difference between 7 and 2? 5

Why did John kill Maris? Because Maris killed his family.

A black man, Jew, and Asian walk into a bar... What does the bartender say? get out.

Nicolas Cage

What's the difference between a water melon and a baby? One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer, the other's just a water melon.

Whats worse than 12 babys stapled to a tree? 1 baby stapled to 12 trees!

Why couldn't the black guy enter the room? He was too large to fit through the doorway therefore he turned around and left

Every time a bell rings, a noise is made.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

Two men are sitting in a pub. One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.' The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidize her drug habit.'

You know what is really annoying? An annoying baby that wont stop crying while you are trying to do very important work.

a man walks into a bar he got hurt

Why did the man cross the road? Because the light turned green

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...