A baby crawls into an abortion clinic.

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Bob: You need to push harder? Tom: Oh wow what a coincidence, that is what my wife said last night. They laugh about the irony of the situation and then return to the task at hand

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An apple a day keeps a check next to the "I ate an apple today" box on my "what I did today" daily checklist.

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What would you rather do or drag a board?

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How did the black kid drop out of highschool? He got bad grades.

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Q:whats comes back to life and says RAR A;jesus

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Why is Santa's sack so big? He has a malignant tumour on his testicle. We're all very worried about him.

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A woman walking alone through a poor area of town. She is approached by a man who proceeds to mug her, rape her, and murder her.

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What did the autistic child say to the doctor? Nothing. His condition is so severe that he is mute and may never talk for the rest of his life.

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How do you kill half of Mexico? You use nuclear weapons in major cities.

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Many people of many races do many things every day.

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why did the gay person cry? he was said that he couldn't marry his boyfriend.

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Went to a zoo there was a asian shouting GOOZILLA at the reptile house I said no 2 frickly pickles please He said helwo I'm wo pong th pow wice to weet you I said does he come with subtitles Old priest said no the said hello little boy want a mint I said oh thanks I'm not a boy I'm 19 Old priest said no no you can't have one of my special mints I said wait those mints have R's on them are the rainbow mints Old priest no there raspberry I said ok don't be a stranger Old priest said oh I will I said wait your THE PRIEST He said oh I'm just a priest looking for little boys I said no your dead now jumped 30 feet in the air sat on a bird dove into him bird went threw him we made a team promised to clean the world of evil only to find out that we killed the mother of all priest Bird said tweak tweak I said yeah let's hunt them all down Shall the be a part 2 you decide

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A man walks into a bar...... He then wakes up in a hospital. along with a large bruise on his forehead.

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YOUIR MAMA IS SO UGLY THAT SHE MIGHT WANT TO LOOK INTO PLASTIC SURGERY TO BETTER HER APPEARENCE

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Why wasn't my T.V. on? Because I didn't have a remote.

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Why did the German Constitutional Court issue Decision 2 BvR 1390/12 on September 12, 2012? Because they wanted to refuse the request for a temporary injunction in regards to the European Stability Mechanism!

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Why did the boy go to the hospital? He didn't. Unfortunately the gunshot wound severely injured the boy and he was unable to be revived in time to survive.

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A man walks outside and walks back in. Why? Because it was raining purple unicorns and he felt the need to go back inside.

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Hi Jacob You cool

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Knock Knock Who's there? F F who? F you.

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involved parents.

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How do you make a blonde happy? Do something that causes that person to release endorphins.

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luke moore cant pull it back

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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