Why did the the chicken cross the road? Escape.

The bear woke up after his long hibernation of the winter. "Boy, am I hungry!" The bear wandered around and ate some berries. "These blackberries are too bitter and unripe for my taste, I'll go eat something else." He stumbled upon a honeybee hive and took some honey out and ate it. He was swarmed and stung by many of those bees. "That wasn't my favorite batch of honey, I'm still pretty hungry, let me go find some other food. He came across a cabin in the woods. "There maybe some food in there." To some, this was known as the Northern Vermont Massacre. It was a tragic happening. The 7 membered family, the Hernandez family, all died that day. The bear chase all of the adult and children and the house and brutally ate them.

What's long and hard and looks like plastic? A plastic baton.

I spilled Spot Remover on my dog. Now he is blind and has chemical burns all over his body.

Why was the man sweating? He was stuck in a burning house.

What did the white man say to the muslim? Hi

Q. What is a brown cow called? A. A cow.

A Mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The black guy because the Mexicans was recently aressted for a dwi and had his repealed. But lately he has worked towards cleaning his life up. They were actually driving to an AA meeting.

Chinese drivers.

How do you make an anti joke? You ask a question that could have a presumably amusing answer, but make the joke less amusing by stating an obvious answer, therefore completely bamboozling the victim of the anti joke, and making you seem like a man that has a lot of common sense.

Wanna hear a joke? A Republican political activist.

There is a bomb. It blows up and kills 26 people.

Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your penis tastes like shit.

Q: what did the nazi say to the other nazi A: hallo

Why did Steve refuse to have sex with a black guy? Because Steve is heterosexual.

What did the policeman say to the chav? Dickhead!

What got stolen from the poor boys house... Nothing, he was so poor that he couldn't even afford any thing

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You're not that bad...you're still better at giving hand jobs than your dad is."

Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob What What the hell are you doing here

Why did the baby die? Abortion

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He then proceeds to order a couple drinks, and shortly leaves after drinking them, later ending up in a fatal car accident.

I like my coffee how I like my women. Without a penis. - Blake Woodman

What do you call 6 dead people on your front lawn? A mass murder

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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