Why do you touch yourself at night? Because I do too

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A man walks into a bar . . . he is tired and thirsty after a long day at work.

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Women.

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Three bars walk into a Jew.

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Why was the little girl crying? Her father has been abusing her and her mother for a year now.

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Yo momma's so fat that all the children within a close proximity of your home think that your mother is a very large woman.

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What did the homeless children get for christmas? Hypothermia

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A coach and a priest walk into a boys and girls club and kick out all the girls.

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whats the difference between a snail? - both legs are the same lenght, especially the left one.

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Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm blind.

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What does the scouter say about his power level? It's over 9'000!!!!!!!!

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Why didn't the poor man buy a candy bar? He wasn't hungry.

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why did the iraqi woman bury her wedding ring in the ground? because it's the only way she could properly pay respect to the death of her husband who recently died in a group suicide bombing.

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What worse than the holocaust? Danny's.

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Why did the little boy enter the white van, then leave scarred for life? He was going on a family trip within the said white van, but along the way they got in a horrible accident which involved a bus, a tractor, and finally a steamroller. The boy quickly escaped at the last second only to watch his family scream as the steamroller slowly crushed the van where they were trapped inside. He then broke down into tears and depression and finished it all by jumping off a bridge. It was a truly tragic incident.

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How do you know if your teacher is gay? Ask him if he is gay.

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2 tomatoes walk across a road tomato 1 gets hit by a car tomato 2 gets confused, because tomatoes don't have legs and therefore cannot "walk across a road" And furthermore, a tomato does not have a brain, and thus cannot get confused.

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what do u call blue fluff? blue fluff

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your momma's so fat i almost didn't have sex with her.... almost.

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What does a bartender say to almost all of his customers? May I please see your I.D.

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What's sad about three black men driving over a cliff?

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Why wasn't the black guy allowed into the bar? Because the bar was closed.

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Why didn't the pro-choice, pregnant woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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