how do you make a cat blink? strike him with a hammer.

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There are 100 men enjoying a cruise to celebrate an important contract going through at their place of employment. The boat then suffers a major malfunction and tragically sinks to the bottom of the ocean, miles from any land masses. Not a single man died, how is this possible? They all used the lifeboats supplied on the boat and followed the standard procedure to deal with such a crisis.

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What's the difference between a water melon and a baby? One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer, the other's just a water melon.

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What's green and has wheels? A green car.

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What was so special about Anne Frank's diary? Nothing. ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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What did the famed say when he lost his tractor I lost my tractor!!!!

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A-B-C-D-E-F-G-R-U-D-T-F With me

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What did the Jew say the Black man after their meal? "Don't worry, I'll pay the bill."

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Women Sports.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

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Why did the man's legs start shaking when he saw the attractive women? There was an earthquake

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why did Suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms. knock knock? whos there not Suzie

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Q: How do you confuse a blond A: You don't they are born that way

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Yo momma is so fat I really feel sorry for her.

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yo mommas so ugly that everyone died.

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What do you call a man named Jimmy? Jimmy

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knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

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What did the chair say when someone sat on it? Nothing. The person's butt covered the chair's mouth.

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Why was the black man put in jail? Because he escaped.

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What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Nothing it is a sentient object and doesn't have the capability to talk

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What starts with a P and ends with a O-R-N? Popcorn

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Why was the little girl crying? Her father has been abusing her and her mother for a year now.

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What is the secret to winning football games? Score the most points.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Muffins can't speak therefor it said nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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