Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Two english guys meet at work

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So this guy comes into a bar... Jizz eveywhere.

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Q: What did Cyclops say to Wolverine? A: "We're both X-Men!"

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A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

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Batman and Superman switched sidekicks. Superman didn't want Robin.

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melon

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how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop!? thats what she said

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse than The Holocaust? TEN HOLOCAUSTS? What's worse then TEN HOLOCAUSTS? THE END OF THE WORLD

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A politician from the National Country Party keeps interjecting - "I'm a country member, i'm a country member' "yes we remember" says Gough whitlam

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Why couldn't the blonde fix the lightbulb? It was shattered.

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Q. Why did the woman fall out of the tree? A. Cause she got laid

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42

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What's green and blue that is shaped like the earth? The earth

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Darude - Sandstorm

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What do you call a man with a shovel through his head? Unless he was carrying ID when he died; John Doe.

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Why did the Jew wear a beanie while playing soccer? Because he shaved his head

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Is the capitol of Michigan pronounced DEE-troit or de-TROIT? It's pronounced Lansing.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Teacher: "What is the outside layer on a tree?" Dog: "Bark" Teacher: "How would you describe the desert surface?" Dog: "Rough" Teacher: "Would you say that Abraham Lincoln was an intelligent man?" Dog: "Yarp"

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where do you find sunglasses at? the store

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What do 9 out of 10 people like? Gang rape.

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A blind man walks into the girls bathroom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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