Why was the manspenis big Cause he was a lucky bastard

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How do you starve a celebrity? Tell them they're fat.

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Tom has 24 cupcakes Tom then ate 24 cupcakes what does Tom have? Diabetes Tom got diabetes

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What happened to those who survived the attack on Hiroshima? They were killed in Nagasaki

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Why did the man go to jail? He abused and later murdered his spouse.

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Why is a banana yellow? I don't know, ask a scientist, stupid

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Whats horny and big A dick minus the big part!

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A Duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'd like to buy some peanuts." The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't sell peanuts." The duck turns around and leaves.

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A fish and a human had a conversation. The conversation was not interesting because fish can't speak and the human felt awkward.

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Yesterday, I was hosting a party, and there were a lot of people crowding around some fruit punch I made all trying to get a glass... Whoops, it appears I forgot the Punch line.

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She said no

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what makes the world go round? An axis (just jokin, its COFFEE)

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What did the Dragonfly say to the Mosquito? Nothing. He ate it.

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a terrible and painful death on impact.

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Why was the boy's face red? He put his cat in a blender.

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A horse walked into a bar, the bartender asked "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, as it was a horse and did not speak English nor understand what the man had said, the horse then stumbled around the bar for a while, confused, before finding the exit and leaving.

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The BCS

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Roses are red violets are orange......... Wait did I do that wrong?

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's drivers license had been revoked for all of it's DWI's.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts What's worse than two holocausts? Twilight

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What do you call a lazy good-for-nothing who can't succed at anything, steals your money, and who is unskilled in every way? A women

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A: We're eating you for breakfast today. B: Thank you, I'll have my arm.

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How much wood could the woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A relatively small amount compared to the amount of trees in the world.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops