Why did Mary fail to consume her breakfatst? Because Suzy has a history of bi-polar disorder as well as anorexia.

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How does a girl with no arms swing on the swing? She doesn't, she has no arms.

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what do you call a Muslim flying a plane A pilot

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had come upon them and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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If a fish eats fish bait, and a dog eats dog bait, what does a master eat? Anything he feels like eating at the given moment provided it is in accordance to his diet and beliefs.

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

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Q: What's blue and fuzzy A: Blue fuzz

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What is the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family

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Whats worse than a little kid falling. Him getting vigorously raped by his father every night.

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roses are scarce, violets are farse, come over here and i'll stick it up ya ar#e.

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Kony 2012 - Uganda Be Kidding Me

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Q: Why did the boy fall off his bike? A: Someone threw a refridgerator at his head.

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What did Anne Frank get for christmas? Nothing Anne Frank is jewish.

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Why did the man cry when he was surrounded by black men? He got a call saying his mother had just died.

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What did the house do when it came alive? It went home

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What did the Dinosaur say to the Seal? Dinosaur's cant.. wait...

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who likes fried chicken? almost everyone because fried chicken is delicious

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what did the crippled boy say to the truck driver? "i like cats."

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its feet are both the same.

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There once was a man from Dundee. He got stung by an angry wasp. He put some Bactine on it. He lied down and took a rest He felt much better the next morning.

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squirrels playing in the street=dez bryant playing tennis

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so a horse walks into a bar right, and he goes up to the bartender, and the bartender being a smartass says why the long face(get because hes a horse), and the horse says his wife is dying of lung cancer, child services are taking his kids away , and im addicted to crack and that is why i have a long face the bartender then gives him the next round for free and the the horse dies of alchohol poisoning

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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