Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I suck at Poetry, show me your Tits.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A boy wakes up in the morning and says i"'m feeling kind of fishy today," the boy's dad walks in and relpies "that's because you are a fish."

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Yo Mama is so old that she is probably unable to become pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: How many pandas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is the difference between a girl and a boy? Well, a girl has two x-chromosones but a boy has and X and a Y chromosone.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why doesn't Michael J. Fox drive a stick shift? He was raised in an urban area and was only taught to maneuver with vehicles that shifted automatically.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why didn't the chicken cross the road Because the light said don't walk

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do an elephant and grapes have in common? They both have a trunk...except for the grapes

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What goes in dry, comes out wet and pleases two people. A teabag, you pervert.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's funny about using a shake weight? It resembles masturbating with a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

whats used in the kitchen and hurts like fuck? a cheese-grater dildo

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Pinus Testicles

thumb_up thumb_down +23

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You're not that bad...you're still better at giving hand jobs than your dad is."

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a smart blond? There aren't any so there shouldn't be a name for it.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why is the sky blue? Because it is.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

The nurse at a hospital came out of the delivery room and chucked the baby down the hall to the father. The dad starts crying and the nurse starts laughing and said, "It's ok, it was already dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

knock knock piss off

thumb_up thumb_down +21

a blonde, a brunette and a red head are robbing a bank, they hear the police coming, so they try to find a place to hide. The red head hides in cat cage, the brunette hides in dog cage and the blonde hides in potatoe sack. When the police come the brunetter says "Woof, Woof!" the red head says "MEOW! MEOW!" and the blonde says "P-O-T-A-T-O-E!"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why does the Muslim go to Hollywood? Because he is gifted in acting. He believes Hollywood will give him a wider range of career opportunities.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is large, white, and can't climb trees? A refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops