Did you know brown and green rhyme? Just not with each other.

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Shit Happens....or sometimes it doesn't! As the person is taken to the hospital with severe constipation.

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So there are 5 people on a plane the president, a movie star, and man who is on the verge of making world peace, the smartest man in the world, and the pope the piolt has a heart atack at and the plane will crash soon there are only 4 parachutes. So the first is Obama and he saysI won a Nobel piece prize and I run American see ya later and he takes the parachute next Steven hawking says sory pope Im taking this because I don't believe in God and black holes are cool so he takes the parachute and jumps out. Next Charlie Sheen says I need to entertain people and keep the drug dealers in business so he. Takes the parachute and jumps out. Then Francis turns to the hippie and says if you achive world peace it may help eliminate some poverty so you take the last paratute and jump out then the hippie says in return no its OK Steven Hawking took my back back. When they land they decide to serch for Steven's body and they find nothing. You see Steven Hawking had taken his own paratute with him and took the Hippies backpack to sell it and make some money

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Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

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Zach Barlow

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A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

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Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

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How do you make a Jew cry? You kill all of their friends and family members.

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What did rosa parks get for christmas? -Racism

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What did the podiatrist say to the proctologist? That athletes foot fungus is clearing up nicely.

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What did the pornstar do after the film shoot? Called her parents and said she had a good day at work as a receptionist at a law firm. She is too ashamed to admit her real profession to them. She then cried profusely.

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you know what they say about men with big feet... damn you got some big feet.

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What's worse than getting a divorce? Nuclear warfare

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

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when life gives you skittles you take a handful and throw it at someone face and yell taste the rainbow

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon

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Knock Knock! Well come on in!

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Why couldn't the asian man drive? He had no arms.

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if dave has 50 candy bars and eats 45 what does he have? diabeties.

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What has two legs and is covered in red. Half a dog.

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Why did the woman lie down? She was dead

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Whats Yellow and has arms. A lemon i lied about the arms.

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Whats worse than being a student? Being raped.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns. He won.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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