Why did the black man go to the gym? Because he was severely fat and would live a short life if he didn't lose weight.

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when the elephants were coming? Here come the elephants! What did Jane say when the elephants were coming? Here come the plums! (She was color blind.)

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Why are children like books? They are highly flammable if covered in gasoline.

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if quizzes are quizzical, arent tests testical?

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Why did Jesus cross the road? He didn't. He's dead.

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What did the orphan wish for Christmas during world war II? Parents What did he get? Bombed.

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If you are riding on a broomstick and it breaks in the middle of the ocean... How many pieces of toast does it take to fill a light house? Purple, because Oranges cannot fly.

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yo momma's so fat she sat on a tiny chair and relaxed.

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why am I writing this...im bored

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what did the asain have for dinner? A: rice

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What do you call a man looking at Anti jokes on this ? you

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A man walks up to a horse and asks, "why the long face?" The horse stares back at him, blankly. The man then sits and ponders his life, sad that he now tries to communicate with horses and realizes that his eccentricity is probably the reason his marriage failed.

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whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket in disguise

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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Deadly cancer.

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shauns beautiful

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Q: What's long and gray and kills people? A: A gas pipe.

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There was this women at a banana festival, but she didn't like bananas. So she split

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When life gives you lemons, You find a new life

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What did the squirrel say to the other squirrel? Squirrels can't talk.

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your mom is so old, she is often confused for your grandmother.

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Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? The Batmobile only seats one, you'll have to take the bike Boy Wonder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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