Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van

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What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

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Did you hear about the cow that could fly? Me either

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whats used in the kitchen and hurts like fuck? a cheese-grater dildo

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Everyone knows a sandwich made with bacon, lettuce, and tomato is a BLT, but what do you call a sandwich made with tomato, bacon, and lettuce? A BLT.

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Q. Why was the blonde fired from the M+M factory? A.She was addicted to meth.

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a blonde, a brunette and a red head are robbing a bank, they hear the police coming, so they try to find a place to hide. The red head hides in cat cage, the brunette hides in dog cage and the blonde hides in potatoe sack. When the police come the brunetter says "Woof, Woof!" the red head says "MEOW! MEOW!" and the blonde says "P-O-T-A-T-O-E!"

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The bear woke up after his long hibernation of the winter. "Boy, am I hungry!" The bear wandered around and ate some berries. "These blackberries are too bitter and unripe for my taste, I'll go eat something else." He stumbled upon a honeybee hive and took some honey out and ate it. He was swarmed and stung by many of those bees. "That wasn't my favorite batch of honey, I'm still pretty hungry, let me go find some other food. He came across a cabin in the woods. "There maybe some food in there." To some, this was known as the Northern Vermont Massacre. It was a tragic happening. The 7 membered family, the Hernandez family, all died that day. The bear chase all of the adult and children and the house and brutally ate them.

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Whats the difference between a Duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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Whats worse then the quote "Do it, hit her!" The quote "Do it, Hitler!"

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What do you call shark with no dorsal fin? Unused ingredients for soup.

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Why was the old man on the floor? He fell

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What do you call a black guy driving a Mercedes through New York? A U.S. Citizen

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Three decapitated children walk into a bar..... If you are laughing at this....what the hell is wrong with you?

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Two Blondes walk into a bar. They each enjoy a refreshing drink before heading home to greet their family

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The eighties called They were pretty exited about inventing a telephone that can call the future

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TWIX PAUSE!

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What did the boy find on his laptop? -Nothing, he comes from a broken home and can't afford one.

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What has 4 legs and doesn't bark? A dead dog.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Realizing on your deathbed that you regret the life you've lived and hate the person you've become.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad at rhyming Refridgerator

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock.. Whose there? Not Sara

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What did Anne Frank do this weekend? Nothing. she died in the holocaust.

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skurfboards we love fat kids

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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