What did the blonde say to the chicken? mmm, delicious

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A dyslexic woman goes into a saloon and asks for a hair cut. Oh right, she doesn't have hair! Then why the f*** would she enter the saloon? Because she wanted to get her nails done. But she doesn't have nails either, and she doesn't want to drink. She came there because she wanted to hook up with a guy!

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What do birds need when they are sick? Most wild animals die when they are sick. However, they can sometimes be nursed back to health with special food and electrolyte solutions in special animal rehabilitation centres.

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a man walked into a store got what he wanted and left.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? To get to your house. Knock Knock Who is there. The chicken.

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What do you call a loser on a game? A Dirty Hacker

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Q-- Why did the boy stop playing football? A -- He had to go for his tea

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How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

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Why? Whats wrong?

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I ponder

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have Alzheimer's, CHEESE ON TOAST

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What did the judge say to the midget when he sent him to jail ? Stop beating your wife

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Q. Whats green jumps up and down and then red? A.A frog in a mixer

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What did the overweight blind kid get for Christmas? His parents died in a tragic car crash and he was left alone, fat and blind to fend for himself

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Wanna know something funny? Your face

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Why did Sally fall off the swing-set? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *smiles* Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust ascending from hell.

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Why didnt the car turn on? Cause the keys werent in the ignition

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why hppened when the little boy failed his math test? He cut off his penis, shaved his head and hung himself

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Why did the Mexican drive off a cliff Because he lost control of his vehicle which resulted in an unplanned trajectory causing his car to divert from the intended course and thus veer off the road onto the cliff

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Why did the fat lady poop on my knee? Because i'm thirsty.

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Mommy mommy I don't want to see grandma. Shut up and keep digging.

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A man walks into a bar and walks up to the counter. The bartender looks the man up and down and asks "Can I help you?" "Ya, get this guy off my ass" the duck promptly replies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops