Why does Reid always have a blank stare on his face? Because he is constantly searching for the answer as to why his sister was raped, stabbed, and burned alive all right in front of his face.

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"You've got a lot of C in your body." said the doctor. Jimmy replied with glee: "Ah that's great news, vitamin C is.." "No you've got Hepatitis C, you'll be dead within a month."

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Why does Nathan Rogers never get any pussy? Because goblins have small dicks

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jimmy Tyler, your son Hi son *continues to open door

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A black man, a jew, and an atheist are on a boat. Suddenly the boat started sinking. A mermaid would only save two of them. who do did she save? Mermaids don't exist. The all died. They were my friends.

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What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? By his name, which could be John, considering the popularity of said name.

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whats 2+2? math.

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Why does snoop dogg carry around an umbrella?? ......fo drizzle

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roses are red violets are blue I forogt what I was doing where am I?

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Who won the race across the highway, the Mexican or the Frenchman? Neither, as they were struck by a mac truck when attempting to run across the highway and were both killed instantly on impact.

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Roses are red, white, pink, and many other colors. Violets similarly display many color variations due to generations of ardent florists.

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Roses are red, violetes are blue, Your monkey sucks.

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Where was Andy Beckett WHEN THE LIGHTS WENT OUT? In the dark

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have you seen Stevie Wonders house? Nope. oh well sorry for bothering you

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Why did the man have a curiously-shaped scar on his cheek? He had been mauled by an owl as a child.

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what are the three types of rings? -wedding ring -engagement ring -suffering

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Why did the chicken cross the road Time for you to get a watch

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

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What did the black say when an asian knocked him out? Nothing, he was knocked out

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Why couldn't little Johnny play sports like the rest of the kids? He was diagnosed with polio at the age of 3 and has limited use of his legs.

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Why was the little kid sad at a funeral. He was actually happy and he was at six flags

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Why do basketball players wear bibs? They don't.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your Apple? Ebola

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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