whats long and green? weed

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

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A donkey walks into a supermarket and asks the cashier "Where are the potatoes?" The cashier replies "aisle 3" The donkey goes to aisle 3 And there are no potatoes

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Have you ever heard the story of Mikey Braford? Every morning when he was little, his father would fill a gym sock with nickels and beat him with it. Mikey has severe attachment disorder and frequent suicidal thoughts.

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A blind man walks into a pole.

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A brown haired girl and a blonde girl are driving through a cornfield. Because of this illegal activity, they are sent to court and given 8 years in the state prison.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things, because a dead baby isn't funny at all.

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knock knock who is there? Jehovah's Witness... IT IS the desire of Jehovah's Witnesses that you become better acquainted with them. You may have met them as neighbors and fellow employees or in other daily affairs of life. You may have seen them on the street, offering their magazines to passersby. Or you may have spoken briefly with them at your door. Actually, Jehovah's Witnesses are interested in you and your welfare. They want to be your friends and to tell you more about themselves, their beliefs, their organization, and how they feel about people and the world in which all of us live. To accomplish this, they have prepared this brochure for you. In most ways Jehovah's Witnesses are like everyone else. They have normal problems—economic, physical, emotional. They make mistakes at times, for they are not perfect, inspired, or infallible. But they try to learn from their experiences and diligently study the Bible to make needed corrections. They have made a dedication to God to do his will, and they apply themselves to fulfill this dedication. In all their activities they seek guidance from God's Word and his holy spirit.

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Roses are red Violets are blue NO SHIT EINSTEIN!

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What has legs but may never walk? A Vietam Vet

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Greg and Michal once had a fight I lost.

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Knock knock Who's there This is the police, open the door. I don't know anybody by that name

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What did the farmer say when he lost his cow? Where's my wife?

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knock knock Come in!!!

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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I just met you! And this is crazy! I just took bath salts, and yor face looks tasty!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you

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An irishman walks into a bar and orders a beer.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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Why was Rosa Parks forced to sit in the back of the bus? Every seat wsa taken, and the back was her only option

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Who did the Vampire bite? No one because vampires aren't real.

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What did the lonely old man get on valentines day? Nothing, because his wife died of cancer two years ago.

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So there was this Afghan with a backpack on a train... he was going to work.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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