love is a homeless guy searchin' for treasure in the middle of the rain and finding a bag of gold coins and slowly finding out they're all filled with chocolate and even though he's heartbroken he can't complain cuz he was hungry in the first place.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

If you give a homeless man a fish he eats for the night, if you teach him to fish then he probably won't be able to feed himself anyway, he is too poor to afford a pole.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A woman who owns a parrot leaves her home, forgetting that a plumber is scheduled to come fix her sink. A few minutes after she leaves, the plumber arrives and knocks on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waits for a minute and, seeing that nobody has come to the door, knocks again. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, a little more loudly, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink!" The plumber waits for a minute and bangs hard on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screams, "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIINK!!!" Just then, the plumber clutches his chest and falls dead to the ground. When the woman returns home, she sees the dead man in front of her door. She opens her door to go to her phone and asks the parrot, "who is it?" The parrot replies, "WHO IS IT?"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did Bear Grylls say to the dead whale? Mmmm.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's a Jew's favorite food? You would have to ask on an individual basis because it is unfair to say that all Jew's have the same favorite food

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia ...where am I

thumb_up thumb_down -16

There's my tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whats black and crying after 10 minute my wife's eyes when she left the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down -16

If an illegal immigrant fought a child molester, is it Alien vs. Predator?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT? roger rabbit while hilarious, was an idiot and framed himself....mind F***.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Congress back then: No sooner had I ended this prayer than a pederast farted on my right. "Hah! a good omen," said I, and prostrated myself; then I burst open the door by a vigorous push with my arse, and, opening my mouth to the utmost, shouted, "Senators, I wanted you to be the first to hear the good news; since the war broke out, I have never seen anchovies at a lower price!"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock knock Who's there? A pedofile, get in the van Ok

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I wouldn't touch ellen degeneres with a 10 foot lance. However, i would shake her hand with my hand. Lesson: 10 foot lances are no way to touch ppl.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Your mama is so fat she suffered from diabetes and died of heart failure .

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what did the shark do when he died.....

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why are there so many black men in the NBA? Because they trained hard and practiced regularly to get there..

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: what do you call a drunk blond? A: a cab

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A dermatologist walks into a strip club. He tells the stripper she has hives on her back and that she needs to go to a clinic, then gets up from his lap dance and reports her to management.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the mother cross the road? To find her dead baby that was hit the night before.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the rapist say to the woman? "If you tell anyone I'll kill you!"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What has four legs and one arm? An attack dog in a daycare.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's worse than eating brussel sprouts? Getting raped by a brussel sprout.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why was the water bottle empty? because bob drank it. stupid bob...

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What is worse than finding a worm in ur apple Idk I am asking u

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops