knock knock go away

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Chuck Norris doesn't answer the phone - he doesn't have one at the moment

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What did one paper bill say to the other? Did you hear about one of us getting replaced by a woman? It's like Bruce to Caitlyn!

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Womans profesional lacrosse

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God is almighty, as such he ANSWERS TO NO ONE! Moral: What you praying for then bitch?

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Once upon a time there was a cat named Martin. He died.

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Why did Hitler kill the Jews? He didn't, the people he told to kill them did.

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There were once three bears who lived in a cottage in the forest. They left to go to the market one day. While they were gone a blonde girl walked into their cabin. Meanwhile at the market, everyone was freaking out that there were bears there.

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When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the results of his AIDS test

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What do a blond and a jar of marmalade have in common? Nothing, they are completely different.

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? hello is anybody there? hello?....... .....the number your trying to reach has been removed please hang up the door knob and put the squirrel back in the lawnmower were it belongs.

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Why'd the man go to jail? Because he had a piece of cheese.

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what do u call a gay dinosaur megasoreass

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thermodynamics?

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What do you call a snail driving a boat? An accident waiting to happen.

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Two people went to a planetarium to see a movie about the solar system. They came out smarter than when they had first walked in.

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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Yeah, so I was partially right when I assumed that you joined the feds in order to make sure the past would not repeat itself huh? The underground society never broke a simple rule, a single law, it simple grew from a bunch of dopeheads, to people capable of creating nuclear weapons... Just a matter of speaking of course.

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How do you make someone to go away from you? You rape them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rape him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rape him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady who got hit by a bus.

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What's the tallest building in the world? A library cause it has so many stories get it haha.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball. Super Monkey Ball who? No wonder it's super.

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Knock knock Who's there My BUTTCRACK

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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