A christian, a Jew, and a muslim walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have a good night because no one knows they are all of different religions.

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what's brown and sticky? a stick.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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What's worse than spending time with your girlfriend? Nothing.

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What is red and doesnt exist? No-tomato.

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Why cant helen keller drive Because shes a woman

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the police there was several calls from people in the sarounding area who heard screaming from ur basement

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what do you call dominic rolling down a hill?

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender says"What do u want?" The ducks replays "EVERY DAY IM SHUFFLING!!!" The bartender slaps the duck in its face and quid his job. The bar has a hard time finding a replacement and his business dies. THE END

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Tom and Phill are eating ice cream Tom challenges Phill to a contest to see who can eat their ice cream in one bite Tom finishes his in two bites Phil in one Then he looks like he got a brain freeze Tom notices and says "You idiot: you got brain freeze!" Phill turns around and says "No, I have a brain tumor."

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? Jews are people

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How do you confuse Helen Keller? You don't. She's dead.

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yo mama so fat she has diabetes.

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How does a gay take his pants off? Just like everybody else

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What did the podiatrist say to the proctologist? That athletes foot fungus is clearing up nicely.

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What are pirate movies rated ? P.g 13 for violence and coarse language.

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How you your turn a trashcan into a semi-automatic AK-47? You don't. But ask the irishman who just said "hello" to you.

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what did helen keller say to the nazi? -nothing, helen keller was blind and deaf so she could never aquired the ability to speak

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Why doesn't the South Pole war veteran remember the name of his child? He is a penguin and could care less about naming his children. Why doesn't the penguin on the North Pole remember the name of his child? There are no penguins on the North Pole.

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A duck walked up to a lemonade stand, and he said to the man running the stand "Quack"! because he's a duck... and that's what ducks do.

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What's purple and has four wheels? A frog, except for the purple and four wheels part.

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What is worse than 20 babies stapled to trees? 1 baby stapled to 20 trees.

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What do you get when a fat kid eats a donut? A Heart Attack.

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A jewish man, a black man, and a redhead walk into an electronics store. Because they work there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops