What did the the boy get from his grandma for Christmas. Nothing. she died a week ago.

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Teacher: Billy what do you want to be when you grow up? Billy: A fireman! Teacher: Tommy what do you want to be when you grow up? Tommy: 9/11

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Your mom is so fat, she suffers from heart disease, high blood pressure, and type 2 diabetes.

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Meh, I dont want it anymore! You can have it.

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A guy has cancer. He dies.

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The eighties called They were pretty exited about inventing a telephone that can call the future

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A man with a ski mask leaves a jewelry store He then goes back because he accidentally took the clerk's pen

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Your mother is so fat........... that she is morbidly obese and is at severe risk for diabetes and other weight related diseases.

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Doctor, Doctor, I feel like there's two of me! There's not. Your long lost twin died of terminal cancer.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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Why can't George Washington drive? Because he died!

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what do yo call two dog? dogs.

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What did the teacher say to the student? Get in the closet

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Hello? Hi. Who is this? Yo mom. Your not my mom. Im the Irish man that did your mom.

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whats worse than being late to school haveing your family killed by an angry peice of toast

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Why did the mexican jump when he heard police sirens? The sirens where very lound and abrupt. Therefore startling this mexican man.

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What do a magazine and a banana have in common? They both have pages, except for the banana.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Realizing on your deathbed that you regret the life you've lived and hate the person you've become.

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What is long and black The unemployment line

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i shouldnt be on this cause im in class

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What is Debbie short for? She has no legs.

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OBAMA and the DEMOCRATS

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What is black and white and red all over? A Zebra that has been fatally maimed by a hungry lion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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