When I'm sad I cut myself... another slice of cheesecake.

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Womens rights.

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Davey Peterson.

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How many dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dogs do not have aposable thumbs therefore they cannot screw in light bulbs

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Whats the differense between a pile of dead babies and a Farrari I actually have a Farrari in my garage.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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Why do reindeer pull Santa's Sleigh? Because Santa won't feed them if they don't.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What's beauitful and disgusting at the same time? Menstration. Jk it's just disgusting.

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why do elephants drink so much? to try to forget.

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Helen got hit by a bus. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Helen!!

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A black man walks into a bar and is proptly told to leave. He proceeds to sue the bar owner, then buys the bar and turns it into a community center that helps at risk children.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is black

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What did the black guy, the latino guy, and the asian guy all have in common? They were all human beings

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What do you call a penis without hair? Apple sause

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knock knock who's there Berry Joe Berry Joe who? I just told you, Berry Joe. oh.

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Why did the leprechaun cross the road? If you still believe in leprechauns, you need to see a doctor.

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whats the difference between a white kid a nd a puerto rican kid? one smells fine and the other one smells like he walked out of a butcher shop that sells cigars and cheap prostitutes

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What do you call a ostrich with no legs? Damn, that's funny.

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if i had a nickel for every time iv typed an anti joke... i would have $0.15

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Do knock-knock jokes apply to homeless people?

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven raped his mother

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What did the person with down syndrome do? He mumbled for a while, chewed on his thumb, fell flat on his face, and died.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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