Chicken

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Why did the bus crash? The driver was a tomato.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and trampoline? Well, children jump on one to obtain enjoyment, while a pile of dead babies is a sick tragedy.

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Three logicians were travelling up to Scotland in a train. They saw a black cow standing parallel to the train tracks; the first sign of life since crossing the border. The first logician says "Oh, so they do have black cows in Scotland." The second logician says "No, they have at least one black cow in Scotland." The third logician says "No, they have at least one cow in Scotland, one side of which, at least, is black."

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What did America get on the 11th September? 9/11

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Once upon a time there was a nice old man who loved to ride his bike... He unfortunately died when he had a heart attack.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Me.

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Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well considering the weight of a fly is 1.2 grams, and the weight of a light bulb is 50 grams (and this is assuming that the fly can lift its own body weight) it would take 41.6 flies. But also considering the fact, that the .6th of a fly is impossible, because it is more than likely to be deceased, it is impossible for flies to screw in a light bulb.

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Q: Why are lizards broke? A: Because they run around the desert with no money.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Provolone

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Robin, get in the batmobile.

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What do you get when you cross your eyes? A headache.

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what worse than a worm in your apple being kidnapped by hores and eaten alive by rabbits

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What's the difference between a whale and an elephant

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A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."

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What did the white man say to the black man? Hello

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stevie wonder watched a movie yesterday

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What's made of wood and has an eraser? a 2x4 i lied about the eraser.

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ask me if I'm a tree.. are you a tree? no.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am disabled, so please help me poo.

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and they stink.

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What did the cowboy say to the skunk? You smell.

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Why did the black guy get kicked out of school? Because he was poor academically.

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What did the little boy say after he was pushed off the cliff? Nothing. He died, therefore, he is incapable of speaking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops