What do the words lightbulb and lightweight have in common? The word light is in both words. Other than that absolutely nothing.

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A man walks into a bar...... He then wakes up in a hospital. along with a large bruise on his forehead.

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Why did the boy go to the hospital? He didn't. Unfortunately the gunshot wound severely injured the boy and he was unable to be revived in time to survive.

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Why wasn't my T.V. on? Because I didn't have a remote.

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If your flying upstream in a kayak and a wheel flys off, how many pancakes can fit into a dog house? None, because ice-cream is alergic to frogs!

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Whats Black and blue My wife after i beat her ass.

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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what did tyrone want for Christmas? A dad.

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Now Showing: EVIL SLOTHS II "The worst death is a slow death."

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what's brown and sticky? A stick

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What do you call a man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk? A man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk.

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Your Momma is so fat that she will most like lose a leg to diabetes which is totally preventable if she eats a well balanced diet. I hope she loses weight. Say hi to her from me please.

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I Have a Black Friend

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ass in my face ? no

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Why did Dom stop smoking He didnt I lied

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Why didn't peyton manning's grand mom call him after his game? She died of throat cancer 5 years ago

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shea kisses a girl

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so a mom is like so what you want hunny and the dad goes like you baby bahahahahaa get it?

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Why do pokemon have hair? because they have no balls

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What did the doctor say to the little boy? Pull down your pants and cough.

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Student; Miss, please may I go toilet? Teacher; Yes, but say your alphabet first. Student; Ok

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Muslim athletes.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread, and loaves of bread are incapable of understanding the intricacies of fly-by-wire guidance and propulsion systems.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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