Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

thumb_up thumb_down

what do you call a attractive blond haired girl who sings songs. pixie lott

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats funnier than the Holocaust? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why couldn't the pirate boy see the movie? He was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down

It burns when I pee sometimes.

thumb_up thumb_down

*Knock knock! "Who's there?" "Jehovah's witness" .....

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the cashier let the jockey off 10 cents? because he was short 10 cents

thumb_up thumb_down

crap!!

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting raped mercilessly by Ronald McDonald.

thumb_up thumb_down

Your mother is a stupid bitch. For real.

thumb_up thumb_down

A dog and a bird are sitting in the front yard of a small suburban community. The bird turns to the dog and says nothing, because birds lack the ability to speak. The dog then reaches down and slowly consumes the bird before returning to his house.

thumb_up thumb_down

so a horse walks into a bar right, and he goes up to the bartender, and the bartender being a smartass says why the long face(get because hes a horse), and the horse says his wife is dying of lung cancer, child services are taking his kids away , and im addicted to crack and that is why i have a long face the bartender then gives him the next round for free and the the horse dies of alchohol poisoning

thumb_up thumb_down -2

how do you scare a mexican? You dress up as a bar of soap.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

you'r mom is so fat that whenever she goes to the doctors, they are concerned about her cholesterol levels and high blood pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

can i have 10 pounds to go to the cinema?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? Sitting on a black man is just plain rude.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Me: Ask me if im a penguin friend: are you a penguin? me: no.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A squirrel runs into a bar and out-runs the bartender to get some assorted nuts on the table then runs out of the bar

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a black priest? A black priest

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Do you have emotional issues, ever have a really bad day and just wanna talk call this number (402-314-5287) < N1GGER

thumb_up thumb_down -2

whats worse than being ugly? being aivy.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A rapist is asked to teach a kindergarden class. The kids learn many things and have a great day.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops