I think I lost my number so can I... No you can't because phone numbers can't be lost

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What did the mute girl say to the other mute girl?

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How do you get someone to come out of the closet? Unlock it

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How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The POLICE, now open the god damn door!

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My friend harris is fat.

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Roses are red violets are blue your dads got hair what happened to you

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Why was the fat man removed from the restaurant? When his date didn't show up he started and crying and proceeded to stab himself with a fork

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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What is black at the bottom, and white at the top? Society.

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In the movie Dark Skies, little white boys were haunted by a mysterious force. The answer is obvious, isn't it? They are being haunted by Michael Jackson's ghost.

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knock knock!! kanye west

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your mama is so stupid stole a free sample

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzie.

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Why did the orange fall asleep? Because its never awake.

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Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? People cross roads all the time, each for their own personal reasons. Questioning their motives is generally accepted as being unnecessary, as it is a relatively safe action as log as one is careful and heeds the laws of traffic.

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What did the white man say to the group of mexicans when a golf ball was coming toward them? 4!

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Man 1: HEY DUDE! Man 2: Go shoot yourself

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If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Regression.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Boo I don't know anyone by the name of Boo. Go away

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Why was the man alone? Because he was tied to a tree.

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What do you call a man with no legs? A cripple

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i want justin beiber to release more albums so that i can not buy them

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What did the four pigs do at the farm? Roll in mud.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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