What did Coke say to Pepsi? "Hello."

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Why do Christians believe in God? Because they're stupid

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A pirate walks out of a bar. He drowns in a puddle.

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*******A CELL JOKE******* Mommy Ribosome and Daddy Mitochondria are watching baby nucleus play around in the cytoplasm, when all the sudden baby nucleus falls down and breaks its cell wall. Mommy ribosome is like freaking out like, "OH NO< WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WE NEED TO TAKE HER TO THE E.R.". Then Daddy Mitochondria says, "The smooth ER or the rough ER???"

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he was dead

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What do you call a highschooler who smokes weed, shops at the mall, and has date-raped one girl so far? Popular.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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What do you call a blue penquin dipped in chocolate doing the samba? A blue penquin dipped in chocolate doing the samba!

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Why did the woman not wear a bra? Because she had breast cancer and got a double mastectomy.

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Why is the average lifespan of Black men in the U.S. only about 52? Hundreds of years of oppression and a lack of nutritional, liberal, and vocational education have put them in a position where gathering the resources necessary to live a healthy and safe life are greatly is incredibly difficult.

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Why couldnt the woman wear her new necklace? She was decapitated

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POO IS LARGE WHEN IT COMES OUT OF ME

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A redhead walks into a hairdressing salon and asks to have her hair dyed black due to being a subject of bullying and social rudeness.

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Your mama's so fat that she killed herself because she was so depressed about her weight.

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The awkward moment when you have cancer.

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A white man, a black man, an Asian man, a Mexican man, a subasian man, an Austrailian man, and a Canadian white man. That's it.

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How many dead babies can fit in a dead horse 11

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What's a Jew's favorite food? You would have to ask on an individual basis because it is unfair to say that all Jew's have the same favorite food

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What did the father give to his daughter? AIDS.

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a bald man walks into a hairdressers and demands beans on toast.

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Why must you never cross an elephant with a human being? It is impossible anyway.

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Hi, this is Luke. Luke, I am your father. I burned my father's body after he died saving my life on a large space station. You're not my father, stop calling.

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Fiats

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What are vampires favorite drink? Vampires aren't real.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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