Wow did you see stevie wonder's new house. neither has he

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Q: Have you heard from that guy who dropped a piano on his head? A: No one has, he dropped a piano on his head.

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What's worse than losing your wallet? Having a miscarriage.

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69

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What did the judge say to the midget when he sent him to jail ? Stop beating your wife

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THIS IS an anti-joke.

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Botanically speaking, cheese can't fry bagels.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs gets for Christmas? Cancer

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What did the milk say to the oatmeal? I came from a cow nipple.

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BenWuzHear

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Why did the chicken cross the road? he wanted to.

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What are astronauts called in Soviet Russia? Cosmonauts

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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How many babies can you fit in a toilet? To be exact you would have to do all this math, so I tested it out myself and got 7.6.

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Jesus was a good guy

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Who livs in a pineaple under the sea? Lots of mold and bacteria

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Why are elephants gray? So you don't get them confused with blueberries.

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Why couldn't Sally ride a bicycle? She doesn't have a bicycle. She also doesn't have legs.

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fuzzy wuzzy was a bear fuzzy wuzzy had no hair so fuzzy wuzzy wasn't fuzzy was he? yes

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A guy orders soup at the resturant and says to the waiter, "will you try this soup?" The waiter says "what is it too hot?" the guy says "just try the soup." the waiter asks "Is it too cold?" the guy sais just try the soup." the waiter says "fine, where's the spoon?" AHAHHH!!!

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Knock Knock Who's there? UPS UPS who? UPS, your package is here.

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard? Neither did she.

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Sex is not the answer. Sex is a question. Yes is the answer.

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There was a girl who had a dream of becoming a famous movie star. So, after five years of hard work and dedication, she didn't become a famous movie star. Dreams don't always come true. Refrigerators keep things cold.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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