Why did the blonde walk into the wall? I lied it was nathaniel nugnes

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What did the man say to the woman he was in love with? Sure, I understand and I'm okay with being just friends.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What's worse than finding a holocost in your apple. A truck full of dead babies then what's worse than finding a truck full of dead babies in your apple. Braving to pich fork them out

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What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting raped mercilessly by Ronald McDonald.

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1. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''

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A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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How do you kill a Chinese man? There are many ways, all of which are horrible

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What causes floods? Too much water.

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Why do you touch yourself at night? Because I do too

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Why did kurt cobain kill himself? He was experiencing heavy depression

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How do you know a thief has been using your computer? It's missing.

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Whats gayer than driving a prius Buttsex

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A blind man walks into the girls bathroom.

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What's blue and pillowy? A blue pillow

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your momma's so fat i almost didn't have sex with her.... almost.

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Woman's rights.

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Terry Stockton wasn't really hit.

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what makes reed stop talking? LYRENS SHARPENED PENCIL

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What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder? An anachronistic hypothetical sporting event that would never happen.

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If life throws you melons, not only might you be dyslexic, but you are probably also uneducated, since the phrase is "if life gives you lemons".

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Knock knock Who's there? Death. Come with me.

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What did the cast of sex and the city get for Christmas Nothing Sarah Jessica Parker is Jewish

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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