What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? Nothing. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said objects are, are in no way capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's red and has two legs? Half a cat!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? Ones fun to jump on, the others just a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did carly drop her groceries Carly is a cow

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the pedofile say to the little girl? Nothing. She was properly supervised by her parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red Violets are blue I have amnesia Roses are red

thumb_up thumb_down +16

There is no joke here, stop reading.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Answer The Following!! Q: How Do You Kill Bee?? Q: What Do You Call A Bee Who Live In America?? Q: Why Don't You Give Elsa A Balloon??

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is 4 letters and made out of wood? Wood.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you get a women stop running a marathon? You tell her that you have AIDS and she should get herself checked.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what's 9+10? 19, not 21

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did one hipster say to the other hipster? I'm not a hipster.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's so good about being Swiss? Well.... The flag's a big plus

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock knock. Who's there? Knock. Knock who? Knock knock.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Yo mama is so fat, she eats three times the normal amount of calories one should eat in a single day. This resulted in her early demise, to which you mourned for numerous months before accepting the fact that she was gone.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you stop moles from digging in your garden? Take the shuvel away.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock Knock. Who's there? Nobody, you got ding-dong-ditched

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock knock. Whose there? Not my house so not my problem. Frankly, I don't give a shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

knock knock who's there? It's Jim we haven't seen each other since college Why hello there come on in

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going off a cliff? A Caddy fits five.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worse than Bieber fever? Yellow fever.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you kill two birds with one stone. You don't its not humanly possible because birds cannot be killed with rocks.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what's brown and sticky? a stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops