What's the difference between a fine wine and a dead baby in a blender? One gets better as it ages, and the other is a horrific accident.

Why are elephants gray? So you don't get them confused with blueberries.

Roses are red, Violets are VIOLET!

Did you know Hellen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard? Neither did she.

How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

How do you make a mother at the playground cry? You steal her 3 year old daughter

GIRL: Honey, for a holiday we should go someplace nice BOY: How will that work, none of us speak Mexican...

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black

what is long and bare? polonaise to the pediatric ward what is short and bald? same polonaise, 3 weeks later

Why couldnt the kid see the pirate movie? Because he didn't have eyes.

Knock knock Who's there? Yo mamma Nobody's home, go away mom

Dude 1: Hey, ya see these coins here? Dude 2: ya, what about em'? Dude 1: would you say you see these pretty often? Dude 2: yup... :/ Dude 1: so would you call them COMMON CENTS!?!?!?!?!

If I had a gun with only 2 bullets, and was in a room with Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and you; i would shot Hitler and Osama because they committed terrible crimes

A baby seal walks into a club.... Oh....

why did the chicken cross the street? he couldn't, he lives in a rural area on a farm where there are no streets

It's only racist if you consider them people.

Q: What did Cyclops say to Wolverine? A: "We're both X-Men!"

politically correct!

What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting your nipple ripped off by a pair of pliers

Why did the gecko cross the road.... Because he saw great deals on car insurance!!!

What's worse than being a ginger? Being a soulless ginger

Lady Gaga didn't have anything to wear to the playboy party.

How do you get a firetruck to swerve uncontrollably? Shoot the driver with a 12 gauge.

It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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