A dyslexic woman goes into a saloon and asks for a hair cut. Oh right, she doesn't have hair! Then why the f*** would she enter the saloon? Because she wanted to get her nails done. But she doesn't have nails either, and she doesn't want to drink. She came there because she wanted to hook up with a guy!

There where ducks sitting in the bath One Duck truns to the other an says "could you pass me the soap" The other duck truns and replies "dont call me toast"

Knock, Knock Come in

Why did the chicken cross the street? To get to your house. Knock Knock Who is there. The chicken.

Wanna hear a funny joke? I can't think of one at the moment...

Q-- Why did the boy stop playing football? A -- He had to go for his tea

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Dementia Pickles

A tightly dressed woman walks up to a man and asks if he wants a good time they go out for dinner and have a lot in common and agree to meet again in the near future

what did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur nothing dinosaurs can't talk

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was DEAD!

A man adopts an orphan. He waits till the child is a teenager to tell the news. He then commits suicide as to scar the child emotionally for the rest of its life.

Roses are red, Violets are pretty, look at their team, Surrender at 20.

Do you want to hear a good knock knock joke? Okay, you start.

*Knock Knock *Whos there? *ADD *ADD Who? *I forgot but you wana build a fort.

"The hills are alive..." Impossible, hills can never be alive.

Roses are red Violets are blue So is your face Cuz I just gagged you

Wanna know something funny? Your face

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender.

A christian, a Jew, and a muslim walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have a good night because no one knows they are all of different religions.

What's the difference between watermelon and baby? I don't eat watermelon.

A

Why did Sally fall off the swing-set? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

A king's son's birthday came one day and the king asked what he wanted. "You can have anything in the world son." He would say. The prince answered,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." So for his birthday he got a rollar costar, a new car, a water park, a castle, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. The same answer went out of his mouth for three years. One day the prince was driving in his car, and he got into a terrible car accadent. And while he was in the ER and saying his last words, his father asked,"Son, before you die, i must know, why did you want purple ping pong balls for your all of those birthdays?" And the prince said,"Well I wanted them because-" and then he died.

Why did the man try to lick his elbow? Because he read a chain email saying no one could lick their elbow and he wanted to see if it was true. You will probably try to do it now too.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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