What do you get if you buy a big mac with a ten pound note? Change.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can do whatever the hell it wants

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Bear walks into bar and says to eagle may I have a................... drink eagle says why the long pause hohahahohahahohaha

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. What about the vampires?

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Knock, knock. Whose there? Tits. Tits, who? SUCK EM'!

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dog

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What is worse than spending time with in-laws? Nothing.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r jerks n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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Q: What's the difference between Bigfoot and an intelligent blonde? A: Whereas intelligent blondes are known to exist, most scientists discount the existence of Bigfoot and consider it to be a combination of folklore, misidentification, and hoax, rather than a living animal, in part because of the large numbers thought necessary to maintain a breeding population.

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If you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

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What did the farmer say when he didn't like his tractor? Man, i don't like this tractor

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Two cannibals were eating a man, one at the top and one at the bottom. The cannibal at the top said, "are you having fun down there?" The cannibal at the bottom said, "yeah, I'm having a ball!"

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An Irish man walks into his home and orders a drink.

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Why didn't Helen Keller learn to drive as a teenager? They didn't have cars back then.

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hihihihihihihihihihiihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihjhihhhihhihihihihihihiihihihihihihihihihihihihiihihiihihihihihihihihihihiihihihihiihihihi

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Why couldn't Sally ride a bicycle? She doesn't have a bicycle. She also doesn't have legs.

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Yo Mama is so old that she is probably unable to become pregnant.

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How do you kill a mocking bird. Shoot it.

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Joe used to always talk about his family and his two wonderful kids Joe can no longer talk to or about his family because his smoking habits have gotten out of control

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whats worse than getting the girl you're talking to taken from you? getting the girl you like taken from you.. by a asian.

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What do you call a fish that isn't moving? Dead.

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Q. What did the man say when his car broke down. A. Damn it, my car broke down.

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A: What did the banana say to the other banana? B: I don't know, what? A: I don't know either, I was hoping you did.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops