Roses are dead Violets are dead Im a bad gardener

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Why did the milkman die? Because everyone dies.

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Why did the lizard cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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What's funny about using a shake weight? It resembles masturbating with a penis.

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Trashcan!

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Knock knock. Who's there. Alex. Alex who? Your brother Alex. Oh, please come in.

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How did the fat woman survive the car accident? She had on her seat belt.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I got to go now Gonna take a poo.

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how now brown cow. WTF.

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Why did the prostitute survive the gunshot? She was wearing a bulletproff vest.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a bat and the others a watermelon

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What did the dog say to the cat? "Bark."

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzie

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there was a red light and it was his turn to cross.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish, who had a horrible accident with a fishing hook

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do want to hear a joke? Women's rights

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Why did the Asian woman drive 20mph on the highway? There was a deadly car accident with many fatalities.

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Knock Knock It's the police, im afraid your wife has been killed in a horrible car accident.

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Kelly Clarkson

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What do you call an englishman who wakes up in Africa Confused

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What happened to the cat that fell in the bath? It jumped out feeling cold and embarrassed.

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Knock knock Who's there? Hector Hector who? ....I forgot the rest of the joke but your mom is a whore.

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What did the man say to his wife right before they got married? "I do."

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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