The king has three daughters. One day, one of the daughters comes into his room and asks, "Father, why is my name Rose?" King replies,"well, a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby." The next day, the second daughter comes into his room and asks,"Father, why is my name Tulip?" the king replies,"A tulip fell on your head when you were a bay." On the next day, the final daughter comes in and says, "BLAJSFUAGHASRAKKKKKK." The king says,"Shut up, Cinderblock."

Guess what these words are: boo_s p_n_s _ _ ndom s_x fu_k wan_er Answers: books,pants,random,six,funk,wander.

"How come dinosaurs don't talk?" " I don't know. Why?" " Because they're dead."

A man walks into a car. And drive's off.

Chinese food tastes so oriental sometimes, sort of like asian food

Why did the bus driver get arrested? Because he hijacked the bus.

What do you a call a person who can't fly. A person.

what did the man with no arm get for Christmas? A rowboat

A family's house was possessed by ghosts causing them great fear and discomfort. Who are they gonna call? A real estate agent.

What is Megan Fox's middle name? Denise

A man walks into a bar. He asked the bartender if he accepts $100 bills. The bartender says "no".

If i could rearrange the alphabet, i'd put my penis in your mouth

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree He had no limbs

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

A. Knock Knock B. Welcome!

Why do jewish women like to get their sons circumcised? They like anything 25% off.

What's worse than molding bread? Babies in the toaster.

Why 't the blonde dial 911? Because phones haven't had dials on them for at least 40 years or so. She can however punch it in on her keypad.

i shouldnt be on this cause im in class

what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

why did the boy drown? because water entered his lungs and suffocated him.

Think about it: Is mexico REALLY full of: Lowrides in candy ass sparkly colors such as lip red that bounce, (manly color right? Yeah sure baggot) which contains a whole street war gang of members inside and at least twenty tons of COCAINA! ...But does not have a horn that plays "la cucaracha" Seriously, you say yes right? Hey look at this guy he said yes everybody, but ITS WROOOOOOONG CUCARACHA OR GTFO OF MEXICO! Yeah... Because Mexico is shit, id would be racist if Mexicans didn't agree...

Why do you always loose your keys at monster truck rally's? Most likely because they fell out during all the excitement of jumping up and down, but the real reason is because they are afraid of monster cars.

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Oh, then I'm not opening the door.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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