What happened to Emma? I raped her!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I was visiting my grandad the other day and my phone died, I was really bored, he told me I rely too much on technology I replied with 'no you do' and Unplugged his life support

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats Yellow and has arms. A lemon i lied about the arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

knock knock , who there ray, ray who , ray winstone , I am your daddy you'll get your perks.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

violets are blue, my name is Dave. this poem makes no sense. microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the famed say when he lost his tractor I lost my tractor!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Ask me if I'm a toaster Are you a toaster? No, I'm a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the man say to his brother? Nothing, because he just died in a tragic car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Chuck Norris didn't rape yo mama, yo mama raped chuck norris!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was Six afraid of Seven. Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's red and smells like cherries. Cherries

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she was deaf and blind and would have been a hazard to herself and others.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

"Knock, Knock," a man called out. A child threw open the door and peered out at him. "Why didn't you just knock instead of saying 'knock knock'?" Flustered, the man couldn't come up with an answer, and the child promptly closed the door, locked it, and returned to her previous activities.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Three logicians were travelling up to Scotland in a train. They saw a black cow standing parallel to the train tracks; the first sign of life since crossing the border. The first logician says "Oh, so they do have black cows in Scotland." The second logician says "No, they have at least one black cow in Scotland." The third logician says "No, they have at least one cow in Scotland, one side of which, at least, is black."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roar, roar! I am the king of the jungle! But did you know the lion would be defeated by a polar bear in a battle between the two?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my penis, so suck it baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How did the girl with no arms fall out the window? I pushed her.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you get 1000 pokemon on to a bus? Pikachu!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

- What's the difference between a squirrel? - It can neither fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? No amount of them could ever figure it out. They all tremble with fear in the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If you rape a prostitute is it shop lifting?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Obama: And then I said there would be a change. (hahahahahaha)

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the girl scream? Someone shot her mom

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops