How do you like your eggs in the morning? -Poached or Fertilised?

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Yo mama so fat, that when she wore a blue swimsuit to the beach and swam, the Blue Whales started sing, "WE ARE FAAMILY...EVEN THOUGH UR BUGGER THAN ME!!!"

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Why couldn't the old lady take her Afghan Hound to the vet after the dog had been brutally harassed? She was dead.

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Knock knock Who's there? A very long space I see what you did there

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Why was the man alone? Because he was tied to a tree.

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Man 1: Your lifes a joke Man 2: Your talking to yourself Man 1 klled himself Man 2 had cancer

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Knock Knock Whose there? Boo I don't know anyone by the name of Boo. Go away

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Why cant madeleine mccann play ps3? ive only got an xbox

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When life gives you lemons, find someone with a papercut.

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guhhjghkjghjgkwefyuwefgehdfbfryfgwdfhdbfadhfbewifoyqgefhqjdbsjdkdfbnqerwifuqbdjsa wuefgeyfgdshkjjhgfiuyegfdhfbdksabnfehwbfeiofqwrypweqiryewpiryewufhdjfbxncmsbahewf bdcuhbwewhuxnyfurgbcyuiwfbewcyiubnyfeurieixybnqweircbnewociuxnbweu crbweyuicyxbreuwxcybewuoiqbyxeowucybnqweucbnowieywicybrqweiubncyqoweubnrcyuowiebno

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Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 was convicted of a murder, but was released due to lack of evidence, and 6 is very concerned for the protection of himself and his growing family.

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Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

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whats the difference between jimmy saville and a horse? jimmy has a bigger cock

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet, Who gives a shit

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how many jews can you fit in a buick? six if you squeeze 4 in the back

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So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

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when im sad im feel horny i rape little children -jimmy saville , last words of the diary

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Q: What's worse than a rainy day? A:

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The club cant even handle me right now Because theyve reached their limit of people allowed in

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Q: Whats A Schoolbus Full Of Black Children??? A: A Rotten Banana!!!

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how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

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Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

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Alex Eggbert

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A boy has a penis, a girl has a vagina.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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