Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it was a refrigerator. Why did the little girl die? Because she was hit by two monkeys and a refrigerator.

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What do you do after a murder kills your entire family? Nothing, he killed you too

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Salesmen. Does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Why did the orange fall asleep? Because its never awake.

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How do you kill chuck norris? With a gun...from 40 feet away

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Knock Knock! The man inside chooses not to answer the door and the caller walks away.

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you ever hear the joke about the rabbi, the pope and an elephant? No? well its a good one...

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A blonde sits down in first class on a flight to Miami. That's because she had a ticket for the seat.

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What goes up and does not come down? Why the hell ask me.

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Why did Sally get hit with a fridge? Because someone threw a fridge at Sally Why would someone throw a fridge at her? Because Sally has no arms

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u know y blondes and tornadoes r so alike? first theres a lot of blowing and sucking, and then u lose ur house!

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Lisa’ house needed to be painted and her brother offered to do it for her. Lisa thought it was a nice gesture and told him that she wanted the house in antique white. However; after painting the house, Lisa noticed that her brother had used a color with a dark yellow tone. ”Are you sure this is Antique white?” she asked him. ”Offcourse!” he said. Afraid of hurting his feelings, Lisa didn’t dare to say anything. Ten years later, the house needed to be painted again. This time Lisa wanted to hire a professional painter, but her brother insisted on doing for her. He brought the paint, which Lisa recognized as the same yellow paint, with a color that Lisa had really begun to hate. ”Brother, are you sure this is antique white?” she asked, forcing a seriousness in her voice. ”Offcourse!” he answered, and Lisa was still too embarressed to object. Her brother didn’t have an easy life and she didn’t want to break his confidence. So the house was painted, same as before. Lisa did however notice a strange light in her brothers eyes. Another ten years passed, and the house needed to be painted a third time. This time however Lisa had had enough. Though it was her brother, she had become increasingly ashamed of her house had even stopped having guests over. With a deep breath she picked up the phone and called up her brother, ready to confront him. A woman answered; it was his wife. She could hardly speak because of her sobbing. Unfortunately Lisa’s brother had been killed in a car accident earlier that day.

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What did the serial killer eat for breakfast? You.

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whats dead and gone your nanas cat

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What do you call a cow climbing a tree? Amazing. How many cows have you seen climbing trees?

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Bailey you suck at writing anti jokes quit!!!!!!!!!!! :( :( :( :( :(

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Do you believe this will change?

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Who has fair skin, blonde hair and is African? Stefan.

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The man asks the blind man "where ya going"b The Blind man replies "i dont know".

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why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted AIDS

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Hi? No!!!!!

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Roses are red pineapple is yellow I'll shove your head up my ass so you can eat some marshmallows!

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How many dead babies can fit in a dead horse 11

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What do you do when your internet goes down? You right click on the internet connection and try to fix the problem.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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