There once was a girl named sally with no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally.

How you do stop a baby from swinging around on the clothesline? Hit it with a shovel.

I just painted my nails. I have braces.

What did the rabbi say to the priest? I respect your religion but have faith in judiasm.

Girls got to Jupiter to get more stupider. Boys go to Mars to build a sophisticated civilization.

Knock. Knock. Who's there? lettuce lettuce who? Lett-uce be friends

Billy: hey dave, wanna hear a joke? Dave: what? Billy: oh yeah, you are deaf.

whats the difference between a flamingo ? because the pyramid has a high cholesterol

What do you call a penguin in the desert? A penguin.

The cookie monster walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why do you seem so blue?" Everyone laughed. Then the cookie monster replied "my wife died."

what's the difference between fulham and sunderland ? hugh grant and lilly allen's dad

1Q: Quick! Ask me if I'm a lemon!! 2A: Your not a lemon 1A: :/ oh :/

Why did the chicken help people across the road all day? Because after past experiences the chicken decided to become a lollypop chicken and help people not make the mistakes he did

What do you tell a Woman with black eyes? Nothing you've already told her twice.

Did you hear about the homeless man? He asked me if I had any spare change. I didn't. I found the encounter to be very depressing.

Q: How many years does it take for a deer to grow into a moose? A: 7

How many watermelons did the black man have? Too many to count, he was a farmer and his primary crop was watermelons.

What did the deaf person say to the comedian? ... ... ... ... I'm sorry, did you say something?

Why is MLA important? Because if Mothers didn't Love Anyone society would collapse and we would go into a nuclear war and blow up the earth, and the apocalypse would happen and dinosaurs would rule once again until another meteor hits the earth.

What's funny? At the exact moment you read this, someone is suffering from domestic abuse.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

what did the blond do after she turned 18? Reelected Obama.

What is the defference between an apple and a banana? Horses, because vests have no sleeves.

Why do animals on the side of the road stink? Well they don't, you just think they do when in reality all it is, is there insides rottening From prevous days of exposen of the air now as far as I know all the little baby squrriel Wanted was it get his nuts in the road and it bring back to his starving family counting on him to bring Food to the tree next thing you know a soccer mom's van ran the poor baby squirrel over. Now me knowing this squirrel myself (don't ask me how) he wanted to go out in style you know get ran over by a mustang or a lambo not some bitch ass mini van with sliding doors and a dvd player convinit for the kids to watch spongebob.... man I bet that squrriel was pissed!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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