What do Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder have in common? They're both well known figures who have inspired many.

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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so dont touch it.

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Whats Black and blue My wife after i beat her ass.

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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Why did the dog smile? It didn't. Humans are the only creatures on planet Earth capable of smiling, therefore, dogs are unable to smile.

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69

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Know what would be awkward, if a GPS told a gay guy to get straight.

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Holy fuckfarts! I did mention I am at my mothers place right? What am I saying? What am I typing? Marry me now!

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How long will it take for a dog to paint a color wheel? I don't know.

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Q: What's up? A: Definitely not a plane, due to an unfortunate hijacking and terror bombing shortly after departure. There were no survivors.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

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What's the difference between a large pizza and a Mexican? A large pizza can feed a family.

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what do you call a football team without players a group of coaches

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What did the 5 cent store clerk say to the customer? That will be 5 cents.

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What did the kid with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for his birthday? A: Polio.

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im not as random as you think I- Potato

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Why did the man's legs start shaking when he saw the attractive women? There was an earthquake

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Black guy? A pizza can serve a family of four.

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Why did the boy die? He got shot in the face repeatedly.

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What do a blond and a jar of marmalade have in common? Nothing, they are completely different.

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Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They beat her.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Why did the man Iorn his face? Because he felt like it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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