Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

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Why did the man fall of the building? Someone shot both of his kneecaps.

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How do u make a fat person cry......... tell em mc donnalds is closed (^_^)

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What is similar about a goose and newly weds? They both aren't chairs

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How do you make time fly? You throw a clock out a window.

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What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

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''thanks for giving me back the money i lent you david''-said nobody

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if u like this i wont pay you a dollar

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3 thieves are also murderers and naked at the moment.

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The homeless man first experience warmth....in Hell

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What's the difference between a hippopotamus? An orangutan.

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Once upon a time There was an ugly barnacle He was so ugly That everyone died The end!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it hit a poll and died of brain damage the next day

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why did Mary fall off the swing? cuz she had no arms ------------------- knock,knock who's there? not Mary

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What did the woman say just before she was stabbed eleven times in the chest thus killing her? Nothing, she had been gagged.

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What did Helen Keller name her children? Nothing, since she didn't have any.

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one day a boy was in his bed he woke up and stepped on his carpet,he then got out a bowl and some breakfast, 23 minutes later the boy rode to school on his bike and parked it in a bike room, he then sat down at his seat and pulled out his history book and waited for Mr Jonty Nicholls to finish his coffee so he could learn about hitler.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he clearly has an owner that doesn't fence him in.

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What do you call a black person flying an airplane? a pilot you racist

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XD I must like, really be into you, God I cannot breathe XD, that is like the most disgusting thing I have heard in my life, but coming from you that just comes out so quaint! XD

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Roses are Red Violets are Black Why is your chest As flat as your back

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Becuase as a chicken its intulect this very low so walking in the middle of the street was it's 1st instest. Ther'for it crossed the road and made it to the other side safe. Now please don't ask me a stupid question like that again.

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text this number 2066191208 saying i wanna rape you

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Becasue she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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