How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

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Why didn't the Orphan finish his lemonade. His legs got chopped off.

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The class valedictorian is about to give his speech to the class. He has 6 fingers total, he is missing an ear, his left nostril is burned shut, and he must walk on crutches because of the severe injury to his left knee. How does the extremely cruel Principal of the school introduce him? "Please welcome Gregory Barnes, a brave soul that conquered a battle against death itself an won".

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Now this is a story all about how, my life got flipped, turned upside down. Now I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, and I'll tell you how I lost my job at the tire plant, and how, being out of work and unable to find a new job, I was unable to pay my mortgage. The bank repossessed my house, my wife left me and took custody of the kids, and I ended up having to sell all my remaining possessions and move to a new city in order to try and find employment.

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When life gives you lemons, find someone with a papercut.

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How do u get a baby to stop choking? Take ur c*ck out if its mouth!!!

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Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was black

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Knock Knock trick or treats? here is the candies, have fun kids!

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Why were you at a funeral? Someone died.

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What is faster than a black guy stealing a TV? His brother with a DVR

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I hate blackniggers

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YEAH WELL SMELL YOUR BREATH U BELLEND

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Why did the man go to sleep at 9:30? Because his mom told him to

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What's red and hurts your teeth? A brick.

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What's the difference between me and convicted pedophile? -The pedophile's been caught ;)

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When life gives you lemons, you realise that life isn't a physical object and therefore you have problems. Have a nice day.

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Strawberries!

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A woman buys a man a Valentine's Day present.

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whats green and walks? A cabbage, cabbages dont walk

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In the movie Dark Skies, little white boys were haunted by a mysterious force. The answer is obvious, isn't it? They are being haunted by Michael Jackson's ghost.

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Why do people like anti jokes? Because their f****** funny as hell

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. These are facts. Good day.

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What did the man with scissors do? He cut his balls off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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