Q: What's worse than being forced to eat your veggies? A: Being forced to kill your parents with a carrot.

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Why couldn't little Jessica open the door? It was locked

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Every 20 seconds, a child in africa starves to death... Every 30 seconds, an obese american teen stuffs their face with McDonalds

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What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

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Why did the baby cross the road? It's abusive father punted it.

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Q- Who is the life of the party? A- hannah schane

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What is purple and crawls? A wounded grape.

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What is more worse than death? Death

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What is 0+0? 0, I am not dumb

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What's the difference between an apple and an orange? 87

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What has wings, is bald, and can't fly? A bald eagle. I lied about the part where it can't fly.

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Whats worse then Justin Bieber? It's a trick question, there's is nothing worse than her

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -A kazoo. -A kazoo who? -A small, simple musical instrument consisting of a hollow pipe with a hole in it, over which is a thin covering that vibrates and produces a buzzing sound when the player sings or hums into the pipe.

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Q: Why do people post the same anti-joke a bajillion times in a row? A: Because they are stupid ass holes with absolutely no life.

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How many chicken feathers are there in a 50 pound bag? 50 pounds worth Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a duck Why did the man cross the road? It was duck season A woman is dying but can't reach her husband. Why? A duck ate his cell-phone A pig walks into a bar but there is no bartender. Where is she? Dead A duck hunter is selling a duck to a man. The man only pays the duck hunter a quarter. Why? It was full of chicken feathers.

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Q. what do you call a black guy? A. N IGGER

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What's blue and says "Good morning" A blue sign that says good morning

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Three decapitated children walk into a bar..... If you are laughing at this....what the hell is wrong with you?

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Q: Why did Sally not like her trip to Hawaii? A: A volcano erupted and killed her whole family.

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What do you do if your computer breaks: Go on your phone. What do you do if your phone breaks: Go on you iPod What do you do if your iPod breaks: Then your screwed and you should get a Job and learn not to break things.

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Where does Osama bin Laden do his shopping? He doesn't, he's dead.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your landlord. Get the hell out.

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A viking walks into a bar, and orders 6 beers. the man working asks "why did you order so many beers?" the viking says"because one for me 6 brothers who were separated from me many years ago." then he leaves. the next morning the viking walks into the bar, and orders 5 beers.the man working says"im sorry for your loss." the viking says"what? oo no im just getting tierd of drinking!'

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Two cannibals are eating a clown, one says to the other: "Maybe we should rethink our ways of life and realize why animals are on this planet"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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