What did the widow get for her birthday? Nothing from her husband.

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Don't you hate it when your reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles.

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What do you call a guy with four heart chambers, two pairs of extremities, and an aortic arch? Anatomically normal.

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How old is your mom? Old.

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Why did the groom have cold feet? Because he was insecure in his relationship with his soon to be wife.

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kevin kim

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What happens when you murder someone? The Government murders you.

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How do you stop the unstoppable You dont

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The shopkeeper said to a customer, "It's raining cats and dogs!" The customer said, "Okay, I'll take eight of them."

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Hello

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Why is Dominic's nick name big D? Because the first letter in his name is D.

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When Nicki Minaj wrote her song "Stupid Hoe" she was sublimminally talking about her self.

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Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

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How many dead jews can you fit in a hole? Ask hitler.

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What do you get if you buy a big mac with a ten pound note? Change.

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Bear walks into bar and says to eagle may I have a................... drink eagle says why the long pause hohahahohahahohaha

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can do whatever the hell it wants

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. What about the vampires?

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dog

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Knock, knock. Whose there? Tits. Tits, who? SUCK EM'!

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r jerks n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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Knock Knock. Whos there? Victor. Victor who? Victor Secret, the gay door to door lingerie salesman. Can i interest you in a plastic cup holder?

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Q: What's the difference between Bigfoot and an intelligent blonde? A: Whereas intelligent blondes are known to exist, most scientists discount the existence of Bigfoot and consider it to be a combination of folklore, misidentification, and hoax, rather than a living animal, in part because of the large numbers thought necessary to maintain a breeding population.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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