What white and black and red all over? The wife who refused to report that her husband abused her.

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why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock! who's there? not suzy.

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Q. you know who is so sad A. you for looking up a site for jokes that aren't even good

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How do you silence a barking dog? You rip out its vocal cords.

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If you stretch all your skin out in a line, you will die of blood loss or possible infection

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What did the Homosexual say to the Southern American? I'm A Homosexual. What did the Southern American say back? I Respect That.

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What did the mute girl say to the other mute girl?

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What did Delaware? A coat.

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What's worse than having a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Juggling lions and breast feeding.

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How do you know a French guy has been in your back yard? Your thrash cans are empty and your dog's pregnant

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What does a pelican and a taxman have in common? Both are bipedal, both are carbon-based lifeforms that procreate by DNA replication, both in all probablility eat fish, both have survival instinct, both require fresh water for hydration, both have five senses; vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell, both are capable of at least limited cognition, and both can turn aggressive when provoked.

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How do you like your eggs in the morning? -Poached or Fertilised?

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Yo mama so fat, that when she wore a blue swimsuit to the beach and swam, the Blue Whales started sing, "WE ARE FAAMILY...EVEN THOUGH UR BUGGER THAN ME!!!"

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Why was the squirrel late for work? Because the traffic was nuts!

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Why couldn't the old lady take her Afghan Hound to the vet after the dog had been brutally harassed? She was dead.

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knock knock Who's there? The repo man Why? You're being evicted

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What did the rabbi say to the priest? I respect your religion but have faith in judiasm.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse

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A boy found a nickel on the street. So he went to the ice cream shop and bought a gumball with the nickel.

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Why cant madeleine mccann play ps3? ive only got an xbox

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When life gives you lemons, find someone with a papercut.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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