Police say's 'have you been drinking' and you reply back saying 'YES' then the police brings out the blower and you blow, it says on it that you are fine, but then the cops ask you 'what did you drink' and you just say 'well i drank juice for breakfast then had some water, tea, coffee' the cops get really angry but before he says anything you say that ' I AM MUSLIM'

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vaginas are pretty!!!!

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you BUT The roses are wilting The violets are dead The sugar bowl's empty And so is your head

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Did you hear about the couple that met in a revolving door? They died.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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A guy has cancer. He dies.

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Why do women hate getting shot? They die.

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what is the vent wound on the ladies that can never heal???

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A man walked into a bar. It hurt.

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Mindfuck: They call you a patient where medics are because they do not want you to become impatient. The Coronel is the Kernel of the army (coronel sounds a lot like coronel no?) Sergeant = Sir gent. as in Sir gentle(man) Ok, so if you experience insanity one day, does that make you insane forever? In that case I was born and will die hungry and thirsty. Sigmund Freud= Sickman fraud. General: The guy you should generally listen to if you are in the army. 3.14 ratebay = PIRATE BAY! Why is Satan the antichrist, humans killed him :P Satan only "tempted his thirsty brother with water at the desert" Jesus showed real power by saying "NO WATER WHEN I AM THIRSTY IS BAD FROM MY BROTHER!"

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Knock knock. Come in.

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whats black and blue and red all over? my wife shhh!

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A Jew and a Nazi walk into a bar... 1 year later they are married with a baby on the way

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Why are elephants gray? So you don't get them confused with blueberries.

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Why is the guy fat? Because he eats too much.

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why did the chicken cross the road? i don;t know, that's why i was asking you

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Whats worse than purple nurples? Having the period

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what do u say when u meet somebody new hello

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What's the difference between an elephant and a toaster. A lot of things.

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Your moms so poor that when she went to buy a bag of chips, she couldn't buy the bag of chips, because she didn't have enough money to buy the bag of chips

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How many dead babies can you fit in my car? None, I don't allow anyone to put dead babies in my car.

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A: What do you call a Jew with only one arm on Christmas? B: An amputee.

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man, a white man has lighter skin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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